You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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