Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
