I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
did i walk over a car last night?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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