I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
