wanna go halves on a baby?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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