I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
