Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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