I'm going to jail i love you
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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