is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
