the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
