she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
