i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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