Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
