He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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