The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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