Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
