you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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