a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
