If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
