hotel room ftw
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
