i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
