The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
