he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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