You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
