I can't breathe out the right side of my face
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
