the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
