i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
