Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
