I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
