He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
