You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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