I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
