is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize