there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
