I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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