How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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