If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
third nipple confirmed
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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