Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
