Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
