What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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