I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
