Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
