there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
