Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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