Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
vagina is talking i cant
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
