what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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