Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
