dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
A+ Viking dick
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
