am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
