do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
