like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
pray to the hookup gods
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
