i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
